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Nov 7, 2009 - Ask Dub Schwartz!

Dear Dub,
I was in a tire shop the other day when a guy pulled up in a smart car and came in saying he wanted some new tires. So the fine fellow at the desk said, "Let's go out and see what size they are", and the smart driver says, "Oh, they're not for that, they're for my Crossfire". What a green poser!
Frank Diogenes

Aha! The mask is off and the monster revealed! I suspect you ran into another one of those folks who wants to show how "environmentally conscious" and smarter than everyone else they are, when in reality they're nothing of the sort. Sort of like buying "carbon credits" somehow magically negates Al Gore's extravagant use of enegry in his home and flying around on private jets and gives him a "carbon-neutral" lifestyle. Posers abound!

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Oct 31, 2009 - Ask Dub Schwartz!

Dear Dub,
Now that Cash for Clunkers has put a lot of perfectly good cars into salvage yards, I can finally follow through on an idea I've had for years. I'm going to build the perfect car by using the best parts from whatever source, and show Detroit how it should be done. What do you think?
Marty Shelly

Just be careful that you don't create a creature that eats your finances alive Marty!

Happy Halloween!

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Oct 24, 2009 - Ask Dub Schwartz!

Dear Dub,
Where have you been? Are you OK?
Donger Harris

Well I wasn't on sabbatical, that's for sure! I must have stepped on some hidden cosmic trapdoor because if it can go wrong lately it has. It all started innocently enough when I misplaced my wallet and had to cancel and replace the credit cards. Seemed harmless enough, but it wasn't.
The next day I get back home and someone left the %$## door to the refrigerator propped open and the compressor burned up. Then the $^#* installation guy &^#%ed the @^#%ing installation. Had to go on a road trip and in the rain at night *!@$! ran over a @$!@$%$## screw and ^*&$^%*@  #%$#$%# flat tire $@$!% ^%$^%!   @#$##$ heavy snow #$@%@% power out for 10 hours $^^&$%^%    #%$@    power surge  $@#$@#$  $%$@@  fried mother board $#@!$!$$#31!#@ spend more money $#@%@%....

Thanks for your concern Donger. I'm fine, if just a bit frazzled. But be forewarned. The shop is now a moron-free zone. Enter at your own risk!

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Sep 26, 2009 - Ask Dub Schwartz!

Dear Dub,
I had a disturbing experience the other day. I took a flat lawn tractor tire in to my local shop to have them fix it. They had fixed it once before about 10 years ago but it went flat again.
When I went back to pick it up, they wanted to charge me for the repair. I told them that they should stand behind their work since they hadn't really fixed it the last time, and they told me to do something with the tire that I can't repeat here. The customer is always right, right?
Doug Tifinick

Wow, that is disturbing. 10 years later and they only TOLD you what you could do with that tractor tire?
 

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Sep 19, 2009 - Ask Dub Schwartz!

Dear Dub,
I'm certain that hybrids are the way to go rather than diesel for cutting down on oil use. The 2010 Prius already embarrassed the Jetta TDI in the run from LA to LV and back. Is it common in the diesel diehard community to be such a masochist that they want to see another beating? When will those Neanderthals ever get with the program??
Mr. Flexible

Ah yes. Welcome to the Cathedral of the  Never-Ending Debate. As I recall, it's located right down the street from the Imports vs Domestics Friendship Society.

Drive your car. Be happy with it. And if you feel the urge to tell me that my car is wrong for me... well Mama Schwartz always told me to not say anything if I didn't have anything nice to say.

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Sep 12, 2009 - Ask Dub Schwartz!

Dub, I want to tell you about my web site (scam website deleted), that the big oil companies don't want you to know about. Just a simple modification that can be done to any car and you can double your mileage using water! They're keeping this idea suppressed because of what it would do to oil profits, but they can't keep a lid on it forever because something like this just has to be ...

I suggest you take two "gas pills" and call me in the morning. Better yet, why don't you answer that email from Nigeria to get the capital you need to manufacture your "miracle" product and save the world.

Please make it stop!! 

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

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Sep 5, 2009 - Ask Dub Schwartz!

Dear Dub,
Do you know a good class action lawyer? My Mazda 3 just eats tires like candy. I can't get them to last more than about 10K miles before one of them is completely shot, worn on the inside or cupped or feathered. I've had multiple alignments done and they say that there's nothing wrong and that everything's up to spec, but either the mechanic is incompetent or there's a major design flaw that Mazda needs to be forced to deal with. I love driving my car, it's so sporty, but whatever this problem is takes all the fun out of it.
Racer X

Well I hope you're sitting down Racer because I know exactly what your issue is. It's not the tires. And it's not your mechanic. It's not even the suspension on your car. There's no such thing as a "perfect" alignment. Ever try to get the players in an electric football game to go in a straight line? Can't be done. Even when an alignment is dead on specs, you're going to start to have uneven wear on the tires. That's normal. Think about it. Even assuming a perfect alignment, front tires are going to wear differently than rear tires because they're the ones that turn the car. Your driving conditions and habits may cause one side of the car to experience more or different types of wear on the tires on that side. As soon as tires hit the road, they are starting to wear. So what's the problem with your car?

The problem is you. You're expecting the tires on all four wheels to wear the same and they simply cannot. What you have to do is spread out that wear by rotating your tires religiously every 5-6000 miles. That will help you get as much life out of your tires as you can.

The only thing a lawyer is going to do about that is to lighten your wallet a bit.

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Aug 29, 2009 - Ask Dub Schwartz!

Dear Dub,
Do you happen to know the record for time/miles between oil changes? A little voice told me that you would be the guy who would know.
I really don't like to spend any money that I don't have to on my car, so I check the oil to make sure it's up near the full mark on the dipstick and add a bit when it gets a touch low which only seems like maybe twice a year, but my car has run great for the three years I've had it. So much for "preventive maintenance"!
Neville Chamberlain

Are you sure that little voice isn't trying to tell you something else, like maybe to get some outside help? You have a nice little "agreement" going on with your dipstick. (At least you check the dipstick) You won't bother it, so it won't bother you. Do me a favor. When your car does stop running, and you're sitting on the side of the road with your car a silent lump parked on the shoulder, take the dipstick out, hold it up and proudly proclaim that you've acheived "peace in our time"

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Aug 22, 2009 - Ask Dub Schwartz!

Dear Dub,
I think anyone classifying the Chevy Volt as a "hybrid car" has it all wrong. GM calls it an "Extended Range Electric Vehicle" because it is not propelled by more than one source of power. It's always powered by electricity - the onboard generator never directly powers the wheels - it merely charges the batteries. I'm worried about the confusion this might cause with the public.
Hybrids Rule!

Let's see... the Volt doesn't need gasoline to move, but when the batteries run down it does. Sounds like a hybrid to me. So what's the big deal if people call it a hybrid??

If you're worried about Volt "cooties" tarnishing the image of hybrids, perhaps you might try garlic to ward it off. Or drive a stake through the hood of the next Volt you see.  Oh wait, GM may have done that already with the $40,000 window sticker on a car that won't make them any money at that price.

I can't wait until some EV enthusiast tells me the Volt isn't an electric vehicle because it has an internal combustion engine.

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Aug 17, 2009 - Chain Reaction

We all know about GM declaring bankruptcy, dropping brands, and cutting back where they can. GM has been cutting back on sponsorships on everything from professional baseball to NASCAR. In July, Gm ended its 51 year sponsorship of the Buick Open tournament, In 2008 GM ended a nine-year endorsement deal with golf superstar Tiger Woods, which brings us to yesterday...

For the first time since 2004, Tiger Woods goes through a season without winning one of golf's major championships, and as icing on the cake, he loses a major championship that he was leading going into the final round for the first time ever.

Coincidence?

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