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Dear Dub, I was in a tire shop the other day when a guy pulled up in a smart car and came in saying he wanted some new tires. So the fine fellow at the desk said, "Let's go out and see what size they are", and the smart driver says, "Oh, they're not for that, they're for my Crossfire". What a green poser!..

There are just two problems with mass transit. Nobody uses it, and it costs [too much]. Only 4% of Americans take public transportation to work...

Dear Dub, Now that Cash for Clunkers has put a lot of perfectly good cars into salvage yards, I can finally follow through on an idea I've had for years. I'm going to build the perfect car by using the best parts from whatever source, and show Detroit how it should be done. What do you think?..

We are a nation that worships speed and power. And for good reason. Without power we would still be part of England and everybody would be out of work...

Dear Dub, Where have you been? Are you OK? Donger Harris Well I wasn't on sabbatical, that's for sure!..

An experienced pickup truck driver is a person who's wrecked one. An inexperienced pickup truck driver is a person who's about to wreck one. A very inexperienced pickup truck driver doesn't even own a pickup but will probably be mistaken for a wild antelope by people jack-lighting pronghorns in somebody else's pickup truck...

For those readers too young to remember, a car used to be a simple piece of machinery, something like a very fast rider mower but better because you couldn't mow the lawn with it. You started this up, drove off at pretty much any speed you desired, and then exercised a variety of constitutionally guaranteed liberties.... No more--nowadays if a car cannot survive a drop from the Gateway Arch and emits any vapors more noxious than Evening in Paris, the federal government won't let you own it, and what they will let you own you can't really drive, because fifty-five miles an hour is the speed at which a spirited person parallel-parks, not motors to Chicago...

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks. ~ Scott Adams...

Dear Dub, I had a disturbing experience the other day. I took a flat lawn tractor tire in to my local shop to have them fix it. They had fixed it once before about 10 years ago but it went flat again...

Dear Dub, I'm certain that hybrids are the way to go rather than diesel for cutting down on oil use. The 2010 Prius already embarrassed the Jetta TDI in the run from LA to LV and back. Is it common in the diesel diehard community to be such a masochist that they want to see another beating?..