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Dear Dub, What do you think of this "cash for clunkers" idea? Are they going to force us to get rid of our old cars? Gump Worsley Well Eddie, nothing would surprise me once those birds in Washington start to get involved...

OK, I admit I'm sort of a nut when it comes to my lawn. I love a great lawn and don't mind working on it, so my Sunday "review" of my 22 year old lawn tractor can be rationalized. But after yesterday I might need to join a Zaino support group...

Dear Dub, I've been driving GM cars and trucks all my life and I think they're still the best cars out there and exciting new stuff is in the pipeline. But this morning I found that someone had soaped the windows of my car. They drew an oval that looked suspiciously like a Ford logo and some strange poem that said: Jade line, true finds A somber hymn damns our truant elaborate rulings moot...

Hey Dub, Got any big plans for the holiday weekend? Cookout? Going to a carnival or maybe a classic car show?..

Dear Dub, What do you think of the new Nissan Cube with that asymmetrical back end? I want a new car, one that does what it should. One that won't make me feel too bad, one that won't make me feel too good...

It was pole day at Indy and Helio Castroneves took the top spot with a qualifying speed of 224.864 mph. Only two weeks to go until the 500, one of my favorite sporting events each year. I may turn down the sound on the TV and listen on the radio and keep score again this year...

Hey Dub, Foster's idea last week (which you appropriately shot down) of being able to take your driver's test drunk got me to thinking. What if you could REALLY have your driving skills tested and you could get a license with like an A, B, or C rating? A higher rated license would allow you to do things like drive 80 on a 65mph interstate with no fear of tickets because you've demonstrated a specific skill level...

Dear Dub, After a round of golf the other day a bunch of us were sitting around the 19th hole and we came up with a terrific idea. You should be able to go get tested for your driver's license after having however many drinks you want to have. You'd be tested for blood alcohol level, and if you pass the test, you'd be cleared to drive with up to that level without the danger of a DUI!..

Dear Dub, Do you believe in jinxes? I hadn't had a flat tire in almost 20 years. Then I made the mistake of saying that out loud and the next day I ran over a utility knife blade that caused an unrepairable flat on a tire that only had about 5,000 miles on it...

Dear Dub, With all due respect, I think you were pretty hard on TunerBoy last week. Instead of mocking him for the modifications and customizing he's done to his car, we should be celebrating his creativity don't you think? His car is his vehicle for self-expression and we all should be sensitive to that and appreciate that which we don't understand...