Thoughts from the Curb

Oct 21, 2008 - Countdown to Bond: Die Another Shi**y-A** Day

The above title is how I've referred to "Die Another Day" since it arrived in 2002. I walked out of the theatre thinking I was just slapped in the face. "I waited three years for this?"

If you've been paying attention to these Bond blogs (who am I kidding, of course you have), you may have noticed I prefer the movies that stick closer to the novels' more serious tone. Well, DASAD couldn't have distanced itself further from that. It borrowed heavily from the two most outlandish adventures -- "Diamonds Are Forever" and "Moonraker" -- then threw in some cheeseball CGI graphics and Matrix-like speed-up editing.

Here's some of the outlandish gems. Bond big wave surfs into North Korea. He parasails away from a glacial tsunami. There's a humongous hotel made of ice. People are made to look completely different by DNA resequencing (they did this on "Alias" too). There's a giant space laser powered by diamonds (yep, that was the plot of "Diamonds Are Forever"). That satellite is operated by a mechanical suit worn by the villain.

Perhaps the most outlandish aspect (and wow, there were plenty) was the Aston Martin Vanquish driven by Brosnan's Bond. This was 007's triumphant return to the brand after 15 years away. But the car was not the problem, the Vanquish is a spectacular car. It's what the Bondmakers did to it. Sure, there were the typical missiles, guns and an ejector seat, but it also ventured deep into the realm of "Star Trek." Q Branch apparently entered into a technology exchange with the Romulan Empire and installed a cloaking device on the Vanquish, thereby allowing it to completely disappear to the naked eye. Only its tire marks in the snow gave it away. I can still remember the groans in the audience.

Part of the Bond allure is the outlandishness, but DASAD took it too ridiculous levels. But even though the movie did supremely well at the box office, like "Moonraker" before it, the Bondmakers wisely knew they could only venture so far away from the Fleming source material before they lost the essense of Bond and it became a self perody. The result was the absolutely brilliant "Casino Royale" -- more on that next week.

-James Riswick

You can see the invisible car, plus some of that cheesy speed-up editing crap in this ice chase video.

5:11 pm | Categories: bond cars Permalink | Alert Administrator

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