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The Fender Bender

Automotive commentary that is definitely not touchy-feely.

Sep 23, 2008 - Why bicycles are more expensive to drive than Ferraris

You're skpetical? Read on.

The other day I took about a 30 mile bike trip down the California coast south of Santa Cruz. Beautiful country, beautiful day. But by the time I got back towards home, I was ravenously hungry and stopped at the Paradise Cafe in Capitola for lunch. Big juicy BLT (they make a killer sandwich with plenty of thick bacon, avacodo, grilled buttered rye toast, side of slaw and a snappy lemonade.) The bill came to $14.58.

That's almost .50 cents a mile folks! The automotive equivalent of 8 miles per gallon!  I could be driving a new Maserati for that kind of operating expense.

True, true my bike only cost 1/150th of the Maserati, but presuming I had won the lottery, the Maserati would still be cheaper to drive down the coast roads.

Yes, I could have nibbled on saltine crackers and an energy bar, and got my MPG down to a Toyota Yaris level. But life is short. Besides, I figured with all that exercise I could afford to tackle those delicious bacon strips without having to hit the Cholesterol Pump-Out Station at the back of the bar.

So next time someone guilt trips you over the gas-hog you drive, tell them about my bicycle and how it's depleting the earth's resources---not gas, but bacon, which comes from cows, which produce methane (don't they EVER) which contributes to global warming.

it's getting harder and harder to be virtuous in this world.

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Oct 22, 2007 - When in Rome, Drive As the Romans Do?


Rome is a fabulous city, most of all for its ability to blend the old with the new.

Watching all these spiffy new car models that we never see in the USA, zooming around the Colosseum, is a perfect example. And unlike gladiators of old, Rome drivers generally aren't out to kill you. They might SEEM like they are, but in fact most are very skillful drivers who press every advantage but who are not out for blood.

The driver's creed in Italy as a whole seems to be that it's a sport of one-upsmanship (oneupspersonship?) but not mortal combat. If you win that spot in traffic, you win, I lose, and that's the end of it. No road rage was noted. But an important part of the creed is that you HAVE to fight for your dignity. To merely acquiesce, and politely apply the brakes and wave the other person ahead is tantamount to tearing up your driver's license and voluntarily abrogating your own right to drive.

And Diesels Rule! Seeing little diesel compacts was no surprise, but I was rather amazed to see how many luxury cars are diesel powered as well. One would think that if you could afford to own and drive a 5-series BMW in Rome you wouldn't worry about fuel prices, but apparently this is not the case. There are even slick, full-color magazines on the newsstands devoted entirely to diesel cars. Not a common site in America, to be sure, and not likely to happen either in the near future.

Traffic is a mess, of course, as it is in any large city. Fortunately for the Romans, their public transportation system is impressive and seems clean and efficient from my limited experience with it. The Rome Termini train station is pretty fabulous, and you can easily punch yourself out a ticket for 11 Euros and be right smack in the middle of Fumincino Aeroporte in a matter of minutes. No traffic, no fuss.

Parking in Rome is a challenge and here we see perhaps the only good use for a SMART car. These little awkward-looking suckers can get into the smallest spaces. They are not ubiquitous in Rome, however, by any means. One sees a smattering of them throughout the city, but they are hardly a smash hit. This makes me ever more doubtful that they will succeed in America, since Rome really NEEDS a car like this, apparently.

The tool of choice among Romans seems to be the small hatch and/or crossover, usually (but not always) diesel-powered. There are larger cars here and there of course. The big Lancias and Alfa Romeos are particularly handsome I thought.

There are no pickup trucks as we Americans understand them. Somehow this city of millions seems to live without them, choosing instead a variety of small cargo vans, or small-wheeled flatbeds or those crazy 3-wheel pickups built out of motor scooter technology. For heavy equipment (street work, buildings, etc) they seem to prefer Japanese brands.

I did get to drive around in a new-ish Fiat hatchback, and I have to say it doesn't compare in quality to the Japanese equivalents. They always tell you to drive in Rome with "six eyes"--two front, two back and two to the side. Good advice and that goes double for pedestrians trying to cross the street.

I also noticed that Roman pedestrians, while well trained to avoid cars, seem to be oblivious to bicycles. They'll walk right in front of one like it didn't exist. Maybe they're thinking "You? You puny thing. You cannot hurt me!".

Yep the old and the new. If seeing a new turbo diesel zipping around the Colosseum doesn't make that point, then perhaps the gladiator I saw with the cellphone, a handsome, bearded fellow mingling with the tourists, drives home the idea. That guy needs a lecture. He's pushing the envelope of modernity, even for a Roman.

4:32 am | Categories: automotive industry
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Oct 3, 2007 - Whatever happened to the G-G-G-OH Metro?

Saw a Metro the other day. Battered, smoking, gasping its last few sips of gasoline prior to a cruel and impersonal demise on the shoulder of a freeway. And it got me thinking. HEY! ARE WE READY FOR THE TRULY DISPOSABLE CAR?

Now hear me out! We need another Geo Metro, but this one INTENTIONALLY disposable, rather than accidentally so. Engine? Sealed! Transmission? Sealed! Tires? Good and hard and ready to go 50,000 miles.

That's the magic number, 50,000. No maintenance, no oil changes, no tune-ups, no nothin'. You just buy the 2008 Geo Metro D (for Disposable, of course) for around $7,500 out the door and you drive it for 50K and then recycle it at your nearest Geo Metro Recycling Center.

Think about it. No tune ups, no tires, no oil changes. If it breaks before 50K? Well they give you another one, pro-rated for use.

And no collision insurance to pay! Sure, we'll need comp and liability for what we might do to the other guy, but as for the Metro, it gets dented and who cares? It's going to be shredded soon anyway.

Are we ready for this? Is it possible? Is there a market for low cost disposable car ownership? Think of the Geo Metro D as a computer printer. You can buy 'em for $99 and if they break in two years, you throw them out. Sometimes the CARTRIDGES cost as much as the printer did! Crazy.

I'll sign up. I'd like the odometer to work backwards, so I know when ZERO HOUR is approaching.

4:57 pm | Categories: automotive industry
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Sep 3, 2007 - The First Automotive Conspiracy?

Before the "Who Killed the Electric Car?" conspiracy theory, and even before  "The Carburetor That Got 100 MPG Was Bought Up by GM" conspiracy, there was the Tucker Conspiracy.  This particular version of sinister forces working against the lily-white hero manifests itself as a theory that Preston Tucker was put out of business because his car was so revolutionary that Detroit was threatened by it.

Nice theory but as one of the rare few privileged to have driven a real TUCKER, I have to tell you that this car was no threat to the Big Three. Oh, make no mistake, a very INTERESTING car indeed, and one that performed well. But it was as tail-happy as a squirrel looped on tequila, and the only transmissions that would work were salvaged units from old Cord automobiles (PRE-SELECTOR GEARBOX), probably because Cords were FWD and Tuckers were RWD--same thing, only backwards.  Otherwise, aside from an air-cooled rear engine, which had already been pioneered by VW, the car was quite conventional.

Fast forward to Tucker's trial---why was he persecuted so aggressively? My "theory", which has some facts behind it, was that Tucker had a very big mouth and he "dissed" Detroit every chance he got. He taunted the Big Boys, called them crooks, bums and incompetents. Well, Detroit got pretty fed up with this upstart, and pulled the necessary political strings to shut Tucker up.

Also, Tucker's business practices were pretty fast and loose, to say the least. No, he was not convicted of any wrong-doing, but a lot of dealers and customers were left holding an empty bag. Tucker let down many of his friends, and people who trusted him.

The lesson to be learned? Sometimes you don't need a conspiracy against you to ruin your life; sometimes you can just push the wrong people too hard, and really, for no good reason other than to make more trouble for yourself.

6:18 pm | Categories: automotive industry
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Aug 20, 2007 - Sell To The Dog!


My friend Mary came by the other day in her new "crossover" vehicle, which we used to call a station wagon with big windows back when dinosaurs roamed the earth.  Anyway,  I had to ask: "Hey, what happened to the Mercedes SUV?"

Turns out her old dog Jake couldn't hop up into the cargo area anymore, so she traded in the ML for a vehicle with a lower bumper height and "lots of window area".

Gee, $32,000 bucks to give a dog a good view of the road? Man, that's love. No woman ever spent that on me! (But then, maybe I wasn't that loyal, heh heh).

I'm wondering if there's a new world of marketing here for car salespeople around the world, or at least the Western world, where people can afford to lavish time and money on their pets? I think if I were a salesman and I saw someone drive up with a dog in the car, I'd definitely sell to the dog first.

"Notice the comfortable cargo area, with more than enough roof clearance to allow your dog to sit comfortably and gaze  out the window. And yes, the rear windows go down so he can stick his snout out for some fresh air! Oh yes, we carry a full line of custom-fitted cargo liners and protective netting. And did I mention the retractable doggie bowl in the side panels?"

Hey, if salespeople sold safety and convenience features for children to young couples, why not sell to the dog when the empty-nesters come in for a new car?

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Aug 17, 2007 - Why The World Just Might Belong To Toyota



When the Big Three automakers first began to stumble and fall in the 1970s, various reasons were put forth for the malady; their cars were too big, too gas hungry, build quality was poor.


In the 1980s, the criticism became more shrill. There were even whispers of dark forces at work: could we be seeing some kind of unorganized but highly effective economic boycott of American cars by American consumers? Are the Japanese illegally "dumping" their product on the American market at artifically reduced prices?


 


 In the 1990s, the excuses for why the Japanese still had the better of us  took a more kindly tone. Yes, the Big Three cars were not quite the equal of the dreaded Camry and Accord, but they were leaner and prettier. They were  a better product all around. Some marques were even touted as risen gloriously  from the ashes, such as Cadillac. “Retro” styling, which evoked the glory days of American cars in the 50s and 60s, contributed to a new sense of optimism and a few bragging rights. And hadn’t Lexus given Mercedes-Benz a bloody nose? If Mercedes could be gained on, what brand could claim to be unassailable? Encouraging thoughts, these.  And yet, market share for the Americans slowly, although not exactly linearly,  wound its way down  to yet another never-seen-before plateau.


 


Looking at the rather dreary news coming out of the financial journals concerning the Big Three these days, one has to wonder if American automakers are fighting today’s wars with yesterday’s weapons. The latest scapegoat for the ailments besetting the Big Three  is the labor union. Again, the excuse has its merits, just like the excuses of decades past had theirs.


 


So let’s say our cars are better, the industry is better regulated, and the labor unions will give concessions. Will things get improve now? How could they not?


 


I personally don’t think the gradual deterioration in market share will be stopped in the foreseeable future, and let me illustrate my point of view with a little story:


 


 


About a year or so ago, I decided to buy a second car. My game plan was simple. I wanted a small, gas-stingy, comfortable, agile vehicle for parking, commuting and light hauling, and it had to cost no more than roughly $16,000. My primary car was just  too expense to drive and maintain for 15,000 miles a year.


 


I shopped the following similar (more or less) cars: --the Toyota Scion xA, the Ford Focus, the Chrysler PT Cruiser, the BMW Mini and the then new Chevrolet HHR.  One Japanese, three American, one European. Yes, yes, maybe they weren’t all built here, or there, but the purchase  counts for market share for that  brand. 


 


First the showroom experience. I shopped only the larger factory-owned “showcase” dealers, not the mom & pop stores. What better place to understand what an automaker thinks of itself and of the consumer?


 


The domestic dealers turned out to be a very mixed bag. Some were spiffy outlets with less than vigorous sales personnel; others were a touch tatty, with sales staff eager but not well-informed. Lining up test drives proved difficult. On one occasion, a “bait and switch” was pulled (advertising a car at a very attractive price and not having it available when the consumer gets there), and at another  I had to play the old “good cop/bad cop” routine. The cars themselves were attractive and well-designed. Some drove better than others, but all were light years ahead of the American economy cars of 1996, or even 2001. However, pricing was a constantly shifting target. Finding that “sweet spot” of car, price and service proved elusive.


 


The Mini? Well, I did a Google search on “Mini Cooper Problems” and that scared me off (I’m fairly risk averse by the way). At least for the 2006 model year.


 


The Toyota dealer? I walk through the door. This young Asian-American man, in full suit and tie, leaps out of his chair to greet me. We sit. We talk. Can I drive one? Sure. He had the features down, answered every question. So we drive. For one hour. I like this car. Price? Here’s the price. Any extras? No, that’s it. Well, gee, have I died and gone to heaven?


 


So to make the story short--while each car had its pros and cons, when it came to averaging out quality, gas mileage, price, driving experience and buying experience, the Toyota jumped out at me. So I sign the contract. Car will be ready in 4 days. We’ll call you. As I’m leaving the showroom, the sales manager comes over to me, addresses me by name (I had never met him). He hands me a card, writes his cell phone number on it, and tells me to call if I ever have a problem. And then he…well….he makes a slight bow as he opens the door for me.


 


In four days I get a call. The car’s here. The salesman goes through everything with me. The gas tank is full. There’s a gift inside-- a cell phone holder. The car is spotless.


 


Next day  I get another phone call. Everything okay? Yes, perfect. Two days later, another call. Would I like to come to a “new owners meeting” one evening? Free dinner buffet, and technicians will answer my questions and give me a tour of the service facility. I go. There is a buffet--sushi, lavash, and croissant sandwiches. Man, we’ve come a long way from those weenies the Saturn dealers used to hand out!  I ask many questions and get many answers.


 


Yes, there’s more. Then I get an e-mail. Did I know I can go to a website and create an account for my car? It shows all my service records. I can also schedule an appointment for service online at any one of three facilities. Saturdays? No problem, we're open.  Need a loaner car when you're in for service? A loaner car? I’m a bit overwhelmed here. After all, I did not buy a Lexus!


 


The point, of course, is clear. The battle for market share in the 21st century will not be fought at the assembly line, nor at the bargaining table, and not even at the gas pump. Those are battles of the last war.  The new war will be fought in the customer service arena, and so far, this war correspondent didn’t see anything too encouraging for our side. Yes, yes, it’s all anecdotal evidence, but nobody else I saw in those showrooms was doing much better or worse than me. Anecdotes add up. 


 


I don’t think I am the only automotive journalist who wonders if the problems of the Big Three aren’t mechanical anymore, but inherently cultural.  In other words, is it possible that the entire “corporate culture” upon which the American automobile industry is built, from the top on down, from Detroit penthouse office to the local dealership,  has predetermined for itself a kind of benevolent but inevitable mediocrity? 


 


And the bigger question: if this is true, how do you fix something like that?


 

6:13 pm | Categories: automotive industry
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Aug 17, 2007 - Classic Cars And How They Got That Way

Americans have always been curious about older automobiles, but the current passion for collecting and restoring cars as a hobby dates only from World War II. Even then, most collectors seemed to want only two types of car: Model T or Model A Fords, and the “heavy cars” as they are now referred to by classic car connoisseurs--the exotic machines called Bugatti, Cadillac, Cord, Duesenberg, Packard et al. And even among these heavies, collectors thought only specific models of these machines were worthy of salvation. Many a car magazine from the late 1940s and early 50s shows classified ads of old 1920s Packards and Pierce-Arrows cut into convertibles or converted into tow trucks and funky RVs. But most of the pre-war dinosaurs still lying around just prior to and after World War II were relegated to the scrap heap. A few fortunate ones, like Ford or Chevy three- window coupes of roadsters from the '30s, fell into the hands of California hot-rodders and customizers. This attitude of neglect, if not downright disrespect, of venerable cars persisted well into the 1960s. While there were a few instant classics, (a rather contradictory term if you think about it), such as the 1953 Corvette and the 1955 Thunderbird, by and large car lovers were yearning for the hopeful future, not the terrible past. Few wanted to be seen in an old car.

Then, gradually, in the 1970s, American car- consciousness started to change. American cars were getting tiresome--dull, tinny, stylistically uninspired, mechanically demonic. The Pinto and the Vega were upon us. Older cars, both American and European, started to look good---solid, tasteful. Then the Baby Boomers came of age financially through their careers or inheritances, and they wanted to possess the cars of their early youth, or at least of their youthful desires. (Nine times out of 10, the collector buys cars manufactured when the collector was coming of age, about 16-18 years old.)

The last factors in the equation for the collector car explosion also came along in the 1970s. The average American began to be exposed to cars of the past through highly publicized auto shows and nostalgic movies. And finally, the oil-crisis of 1973 and 1979 spurred a general craze for investments in anything that would help stop the onslaught of inflation, and this included going completely gaga over those potentially valuable old cars.

Along with this unbounded enthusiasm came the folly associated with trends based on sentimentality. And, worse, there were the sordid business practices that often accompany any pitch to invest in something as a hedge against inflation. One could hardly think of a sorrier reason to collect anything, much less a two-ton piece of what was often hastily re-assembled old metal.

Greed and ignorance can turn any respectable occupation into an orgy of speculation, and the booming hobby of collecting old cars was no exception. The Edsel was going to be one of the most valuable old cars of all time, they promised us, and the Cadillac Eldorado would be the last American convertible ever produced. But it didn't turn out that way, and many inexperienced people who looked to make their fortune in the collectible car market were sorely disappointed, either by the shoddily restored rust-buckets they paid too much for, or by the drab and utilitarian old cars they poured piles of money into, in the hope that the Smithsonian would call and make a generous offer.

Fortunately, the last 10 years have brought some constructive changes. For one thing, the Classic Car Club of America has been quite diligent in trying to bring back some meaning to the much abused word classic. Through laborious historical research and a rational system of judging an automobile¹s merits, an exclusive list of cars manufactured up to 1948 has been compiled, and honored with the label "The Classics". This doesn¹t necessarily please the more liberal wings of the collector car fraternity, but the fact is that most professional appraisers, curators, dealers and collectors acknowledge the CCCA's formulations as the standard by which to judge a true Classic.

Better than that, the public at large has gotten a lot more sophisticated, and while someone will still react emotionally and pay a premium price for a "classic" 1950 Chevrolet four-door sedan just like grandma owned, the majority of buyers, sellers and dealers will not. They have come to realize that the term classic represents not only the ability of a particular car to survive the ravages of time, but also embodies a timeless character--one that was clearly intentional on the part of the manufacturer.

So, if the car you own or are thinking of buying is not on the Classic Car List, how do you know what you have and what it's worth?

Well, for one thing, you can embrace the Golden Rule of Automotive Value, which is three-fold: condition, condition, and condition. A badly rusted 1964 Mustang convertible is worth practically nothing--a few hundred dollars for parts perhaps--and an identical year and model that is highly restored may bring $35,000. Same two cars, big difference in value. Secondly, you could consult any number of very informative price guides that are now available, such as Old Cars Price Guide and Cars of Particular Interest (CPI). Last of all, you could page through the "bible" of collector car classifieds, Hemmings Motor News, and look at comparable cars for sale. They only show asking prices, which can be hopefully high, but at least they'll give you an idea of the current market.

And now for the Big Question. What will be the future priceless "classics" that are running on the road right now? Well, you never can tell for sure, but a good bet would be any low production expensive open car of outstanding style and performance. Possibly a few coupes that fit that description as well. Historically, very very few 4-door sedans have become classics, or even valuable collectibles, unless they were special, one of a kind cars.

If the last 30 years has taught car collectors anything, it's taught them that the automobiles that will win the greatest admiration and achieve the highest values in the future will be the ones that were something very special on the day they were first made. The first Corvette. Porsche Speedster. Lotus Seven. The Muscle Cars. Jaguar XKE Series I Roadster. Cobra. Viper. You get the idea. Each a member of a pretty exclusive club. A "Classic" really couldn't be anything else.


 

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Jul 15, 2007 - Who Needs A Conspiracy?


My initial impression of the film "Who Killed the Electric Car"---

---hasn't changed much despite numerous discussions about it online and off. I still think the film blames the wrong party.

The electric car was killed by the electric car, that's who. And well....by us. Ascribing the crime to government or the oil companies gives them far too much credit. It sounds like yet another New-Age Whine.  Has any truly great idea or invention ever been so thoroughly suppressed in a capitalist system? Did horse breeders suppress the car? Did the stagecoach companies keep down the railroad? Did aircraft manufacturers in 1950 kill the jet plane?  Arguably, maybe they wanted to, but really, can any business entity stifle the desires of hundreds of millions of American consumers? Doubtful, very doubtful.

Fact is, we don't see very many electric cars on the road because they don't work very well for the vast majority of car buyers. Or to put it more bluntly--they simply aren't good enough. You'd think from viewing the film that the EV-1 was a totally perfected piece of work, able to do just about anything a "real car" could do. But was it really? Did the film ever interview people who hated it? Who were stranded, inconvenienced or disappointed?  Or was it the thrill of new technology that blinded new users to the limitations of the device (gee, when has THAT ever happened before?).

Don't get me wrong, not for a minute. I'll be first in line for an electric car that can work for me and my lifestyle (and my budget!).  All I'm saying is that I'm not sloughing off my responsibility for killing the electric car by blaming Exxon. When an EV comes out that has four seats, looks like a "normal" car, goes at freeway speeds for at least 150 miles, can recharge in a few hours on 110 volts preferably, doesn't need an expensive battery pack replacement every two years, meets all the safety and comfort standards I can't live without, and costs $25,000 or less....you know....like a NORMAL car....well then you can sign me up!

Until then, we may have to make due with the hybrid, or the plug-in hybrid, or the next generation of diesel cars. Personally, I still see pure electric cars as a sideline for the foreseeable future, perhaps like the first cars were in 1900--expensive toys for the wealthy until Henry Ford came along ten years later.

Even more sobering: the Detroit Electric, a full-size ENCLOSED car born over 100 years ago, advertised a range of 80 miles on a charge. We haven't gotten very far, have we?

This is Nigel Shiftright, signing off for Carspace.com. Do make some comments, won't you?

10:11 am | Categories: electric car
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