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CarSpace Ms. AdventureThe wacky wendings of my life on the road. Dec 1, 2008 - Giving ThanksComing out of the Thanksgiving weekend, what I am most thankful for is making it back home to San Francisco without incident driving a 16' rental truck. I had to rent a truck to take back a piece of furniture and a few miscellaneous boxes that my parents had been storing for me since I left home back in 1996. I finally bought a house this summer, so I was going to have space for the gorgeous china cabinet I inherited from my grandmother.
Oct 30, 2007 - What is the World Coming To?I totally did an S.F. U-ie. Perhaps it's time to further clarify the S.F. U-ie. It's not just an everyday, ordinary, run of the mill U-turn in the middle of the road. It's one where you literally put other people in jeopardy or cause undue annoyance. So, like I said -- I totally did an S.F. U-ie. But there was a parking spot I needed. :-\ When in Rome????
Sep 26, 2007 - Full Moon TonightI'm not really sure how it is that I made it 34 years without ever being mooned, butt* I did. That is until a couple of weeks ago heading into the city along Marina Blvd. It was a cool and breezy night. The Golden Gate Bridge towered majestically in the distance and I had my head turned around to take in the commanding view of... butt. Large and devoid of sun for decades, butt. A group of college kids drove past and the front passenger was letting it all hang out. For, uh... my fiance who was driving the car. Riiiiight. Hey, all you former and current mooners out there what is the obsession with your butts? I mean, I'm all for positive body image butt come on! What's the thrill factor here? I really want to know.
*Purposefully mispelled throughout this entry for added humor. I hope it worked.
Aug 8, 2007 - As if it Wasn't Bad EnoughVery quick note to report that I was the victim of a DOUBLE SF U-ie. Two white SUV's turned right onto Lake while traveling south on Park Presidio. The first offending SUV was actually in the center lane originally and had to rely on the kindness of the second offending SUV to let him into the right lane so he could make a right on Lake. I was car number three behind them and they both flipped SF U-ie's on Lake immediately after I turned onto the street myself. Of course, I had to stop behind them (muttering curses under my breath) waiting for them to complete their offending U-ie's so they could make lefts back onto Park Presidio just to go back the way they'd come. Grrrr... I sense this was an inside job. They knew each other. I feel it in my bones!
Jul 31, 2007 - Just What to Do with "The Boo"?One of my best friends (let’s call him “Bill”) introduced me to a very fascinating hand gesture a few years back. No, not that one (I learned that one in kindergarten; I did experience my formative years in N.Y. and N.J. after all). No, this hand gesture is rather an ordinary one and quite benign:
One day, around this time (being fully in the throws of reveling in my newly found gesture) I experienced a moment of serendipity in new use of “The Boo”. I was in Santa Monica heading north on 4th Street and turned right to get onto the 10 freeway. There are two lanes on this on-ramp that merge into one. As was par for the course, the car that was originally waiting behind me to turn onto the freeway sped up and tried to pass around on the right. However, the person driving didn’t leave themselves enough time to get around, so they ended up getting back behind me, very close on my tail and stayed there. Well, he stayed on my tail that is, until I put my right arm up in full view of my rear window and gave him “The Boo”. Time seemed to stop. The car slowed down and pulled back. The driver, expecting an entirely different hand gesture, didn’t know what to make of this new one at all. His entire body language changed. It was sort of a physical manifestation of the abbreviation “wtf?” used in IM conversations. Very deer-in-the-headlights crossed with things-that-make-you-go-hmmm.
Jul 18, 2007 - And So It Begins... With Yokohama TiresSo, as Miss Crazy mentioned the other day we embarked on a road trip down to our Santa Monica offices in a spiffy 2007 Toyota Rav4. The first thing I noticed about the car were the tires: Yokohama. I have baaaaad memories of Yokohama tires. My del Sol came with them off the lot and within 3 months, I had to replace the right front tire twice. After the second Yokohama tire bit the dust I decided to go with another manufacturer. I mean, those suckers are expensive! At least they seemed expensive in my college ramen noodle eating days. Take it with a grain of salt -- I have always heard great things about Yokohama tires, but I can't say I've ever had a good experience with them. Miss Crazy mentioned to me that the rear door to the trunk was very heavy to open/close. I kinda figure that's a "pro" because I'm forever trying to tone my arms in prep for my dream of spinning the wheel and making it to the Showcase Showdown on "The Price is Right". I only wish I'd made it before Bob departed. *sigh* Oh, well... Just after we crossed the Richmond Bridge we came upon a Mazda pickup that had modified the lettering on its back bumper to make a new word. I'm always fascinated by these people. The ones who modify "Toyota" to "yo" or "toy" or whatever -- you get the idea. The Mazda truck had actually stripped off part of the "M" to make it look like a lowercase "n" and completely removed the "z" to come up with... drum roll please... "na da". Nada. Prolific, don't you think? Next up: traffic jam for over two miles while we waited to pass a broken down van with a smoking hood. Ouch. I didn't notice what make the van was but it was older -- probably early to mid 90's. As we're trying to get around the van and merge into the lane just left of us, some %^&*!@# tries to weasel in on the left of Miss Crazy and there's no room! Miss Crazy gently veers to the left a smidge more to kindly point out that there really is no room for %^&*!@# to get around (Ms Adventure would have been far more obvious and far less kind). After getting around the hood-smoking-van it was time for our first refuel. Alright, alright maybe I needed a pit stop of my own (I really had been drinking a lot of water). As we exited the freeway Miss Crazy noted that %^&*!@# was exiting behind us and she wondered if they were following us in a road ragious (yes, I said it - road ragious) state brought on because we'd prevented them from passing us in the aforementioned merge. I just reminded Miss Crazy that I am from New Jersey and it wouldn't be a problem to make quick work of them if need be. Reinvigorated by the Starbucks running through our blood and the Rav4 all filled up with gas we head back on the road. As we drive I look around the interior of the Rav4. I notice a button that reads "Auto LSD". Say what? Well, Auto LSD (or limited slip differential) is basically a fancy way of saying "transfer more power to the wheels that need it based on traction" for the times you find yourself trying to get your back tires out of a ditch. Happens to me all the time... so embarrassing. Aside from the occasional speed freaks it really was a pleasant drive down. Miss Crazy is actually a wonderful driver and I don't have to pretend to be comfortable and relaxed at all the way I do when my fiancé is driving (love you, honey!).
Jul 14, 2007 - The SF U-ie
Okay, parking sucks here. I get it. I.GET.IT. But no. No, no, NO! You don't get to turn around wherever you feel like it. There's an old lady crossing the street there, there's a line of cars waiting to go through a green light, there's a pigeon trying to get a crust of bread! Even when parking isn't the issue it still seems like it doesn't matter. If something a driver wanted is behind them, they must make a U-ie. Can't go around the block, nope. Gotta pull the U-ie. It's viral... it happens daily... this is an EPIDEMIC here, people! This is why it must have a name, be classified and exposed. The signature automotive move for the city of San Francisco is: The S.F. U-ie. It's real. It exists. It will happen to YOU.
Jul 14, 2007 - Sharp Crest AheadMy del Sol and I, having moved to San Francisco and one of us having manual transmission (I’ll let you guess which one of us), haven’t had a lot of driving misadventure opportunities of late. The simple reason is this: I go white knuckle driving up the most bunny slope of roadways with my stick shift and would rather not find myself driving unknowingly onto one of the many black diamond hills this city is famous for. However, last week I found myself in this exact situation because of something I can only explain as a brain malfunction. I was returning from a visit to Mill Valley in the late afternoon and decided to pick my boyfriend up from his offices downtown. My first thought was to take the familiar route along Geary Blvd. I’ve driven a few times and taken the bus down many times since I moved up here. My second thought was that I should be a little adventurous and familiarize myself with the city – I’ve always found that I really learn my way around a place by driving in it. I felt like I was forgetting something though… Anyway, I passed the normal exit off of the 101 South that would have taken me to Geary and began reading unfamiliar signs. I still had this nagging feeling that I was forgetting something. I took an exit leading downtown off the freeway and within seconds, a wave of panic washed over me as I remembered what I was forgetting and the reason why I hadn’t thought of being adventurous before in my city driving: hills. My God… the hills. I tried to keep calm as the realization really sank in. I’ll take a quick break here to say that I pride myself at my courage (in fact, exhilaration) in facing situations that most others find daunting. Sailing on the choppy seas? No problem. Turbulance? Bring.It.On. Rollercoasters? I’m an addict. That is, except, for the part of the ride before the initial decent. No, really. The scariest part of a coaster for me is that torturous slow ascent up the hill. This is the part of the ride where I have my breath held, eyes closed and a death grip on the safety bars. Moreover, since I was a child, I’ve had recurring dreams where I’m in a car (or a coaster) going up a hill and suddenly find myself falling backward. Freud yourselves out if you like; I’m not taking a guess at what the interpretation of those dreams might mean. Now back to the misadventure at hand. I realized I had to quickly find a way back to my precious, familiar, safe Geary Blvd. The exit I took eventually led me to a sign for “Lombard St.” and I knew that was bad. My boyfriend had taken me down Lombard Street once and not only was in the “crookedest” street in S.F. but I do remember it being quite steep as well. I managed to avoid that disaster and continued heading east until I came to a familiar street name: Divisadero. I knew for sure that Divisadero went to Geary and from the few times I’d been on it I thought I remembered it being a safe choice so I headed south (those of you familiar with this street are surely laughing about now). Immediately after I turned, my grip on the steering wheel tightened. Straight ahead of me all I saw were hills. Hill after hill, each with a subsequently steeper incline. Lucky for me, the roads were empty. There was a small pick-up truck in front of me and no one behind me which meant I had some room for error. This was a very good thing because I’ll mention now that for the last month my gas pedal has been sticking and I really have to push it hard to give my car gas as I shift. Oh yeah, it just keeps getting better. Nothing to do now but go for it so, I started. The first two hills were no problem but the monsters were looming ahead of me as I was trying to find another street to bail down but really, where was I going to go? This was bad enough and I had no idea what else I would find if I veered off. I didn’t want to find myself out of the frying pan and into the fire. I continued to ascend and tried not to the think about it. This was easy, I told myself; not an issue at all. Unfortunately, the pain from my nails digging into my palms around the steering wheel winced me back into my brain. About the fourth hill up I saw a very disturbing sign that read “Sharp Crest Ahead”. A fresh wave of panic washed over me as my imagination leapt over what that sign might mean, but I kept moving forward. At the top of the next hill I saw the same ominous sign again and kept going since I’d managed to make it through the last one. Then, finally – salvation! It was all over, I moved toward more stable ground and gave myself a mental high-five. My heartbeat started returning to normal and my breath regulated as I made a left onto safe, flat, familiar ol’ Geary. I’m so tough.
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